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CFS Handling Adolescents Emotions Image

Handling Adolescents’ Emotions: Tips for Parents (中文)



Handling Adolescents’ Emotions: Tips for Parents

Various changes occur when children enter adolescence, affecting family dynamics. Many parents feel challenged with adaptation, leading to increased parent-child conflict and a worsened parent-child relationship. To facilitate effective communication and positive parent-child relationships, it is crucial for parents to understand the characteristics of adolescent emotional development and effective communication strategies.

What Are Emotions? Adolescent Emotional Development
  • Emotions are innate
  • Complicated emotions are developed from basic emotions
  • Individuals may have different emotional responses and magnitude to the same event
  • Emotions serve to protect/express individuals’ concerns
  • An emotional experience will be created every time when one is experiencing emotions, and each experience can be altered
  • Emotions are innate and do not require learning. Learning how to express emotions properly is key.
  • Emotions are mainly negative
  • Emotional reaction is strong, direct, unstable
  • The reason for mood swings is often unknown
  • Tend to hide their emotions

When adolescents experience emotional distress, active listening and accompaniment from their parents and peers canhelp stabilize their emotions.

Do’s Don’t’s
  • Show Acceptance: e.g. “I understand that these courses are difficult for you and you feel worried about them. Is there anything I can do to help?”
  • Show concern to their adolescents’ situation: Accompany them to do activities that they enjoy
  • Respect adolescents’ space: Show that you are here to listen whenever they are in need
  • Active Listening: Provide adolescents the opportunity to express their opinions
  • Be a good model for adolescents, stay calm: Adolescents would feel calm as well
  • Explore and appreciate the strengths of adolescents: so that they know that they are valuable
  • Stop adolescents in expressing their emotions: e.g. “Stop whining”, “Quit Worrying”, “Move on”
  • Labeling their behaviours: When adolescents feel discouraged and reluctant to engage in daily activities, they are considered “useless” and “lazy”, or required to meet some unrealistic goals
  • Keep asking adolescents: Constant inquiry into happened, leaving no space to process emotions
  • Rushing to provide guidance and opinions: Telling them what they should have done, pointing out mistakes
  • Feel overwhelmed: When adolescents are being emotional, your reactions are even more serious
  • Excessive concern about their behaviour: Neglecting their feelings and emotions
Tips for Parents
Adolescent Self Seek Help
Respect their uniqueness, being sure to care about both their physical and psychological development. Adolescents can then feel your love, understanding and support, establishing a good foundation for psychological development. The emotional well-being of adolescents and their parents are closely related. If emotional problems of adolescents worsen, seek medical and psychological assistance. Professionals can help you through the process. You don’t have to fight the battle alone.

面對子女情緒,家長錦囊 (English)

面對子女情緒,家長錦囊

面對子女步入青少年時期的各種改變,家庭互動也會因此而改變,很多家長感到難以適應,這往往是導致親子衝突增加及家庭和諧受損的關鍵。認識青少年情緒發展及特徵,對於跟青少年子女溝通是十分重要。

何為情緒? 青少年情緒發展特徵
  • 情緒是天生的
  • 複雜的情緒原自我們基本情緒
  • 每個人於同樣事件均有不同的情緒反應及程度
  • 情緒是用來保護我們/表達我們的需要
  • 每次經驗都會製造一個情緒經驗,情緒經驗是可以改變的
  • 情緒是不用學習的,但我們可以學習如何表達
  • 以負面情緒為主
  • 情緒反應強烈、直接、不穩定
  • 情緒波動的原因不明
  • 開始會隱藏自己的情緒狀態

情緒困擾的人,最希望得到別人的聆聽、陪伴。不需擔心他愈講愈灰暗,您的聆聽和陪伴能穩定他的情緒。

該做 不該做
  • 向子女表達接納,讓子女感到您是與他同行例如「我聽到你感到這些科目很難,好擔心,不知怎樣做!我有甚麽可幫你呢?」
  • 接納他的狀態和表現下降當子女心情低落時,表達您接受他,並陪伴他做一些他喜歡的活動
  • 尊重他的空間子女感到煩惱時,可能需要的是時間。可以告訴他知道他的心情,若他需要傾訴,您願意聆聽,以表示您的支持
  • 積極聆聽先不要批判,鼓勵子女多講自己的看法
  • 以身作則,冷靜從容不要因為子女情緒而容易動怒,子女也會因您的冷靜而鎮定下來
  • 多發掘和肯定子女的長處讓他覺得自己有價值
  • 阻止子女表達負面情緒 例如「不應抱怨」、「擔心是無用的」、「做人要向前看」等
  • 標籤他們的行為當子女心情不皆,表現退縮時,立刻標籤他的行為是懶惰和無用,或要求他達到一些表現
  • 不斷追問子女在他煩燥及不安時仍不停詢問他發生什麼事,不給予空間讓他們處理
  • 急於給予意見和教導以您的角度表述什麼時候他們應該怎樣做,指出他們處理不當的地方
  • 方寸大亂,情緒失控讓子女擔心您處理不了;在子女有情緒時,您的反應比他更激動。
  • 太過專注於處理子女的行為問題急於改進他的行為,指導他應該如何處理; 忽略他的感受
對家長小提示
子女 自己 求助
每個人均是獨特的,家長應尊重子女們的獨特性,讓他感受到您的愛及支持,這是子女心理健康的基石。 父母的情緒對子女有密切相連,如果感到自己情緒不穩及欠皆,亦及早正視求助。 如果感到子女及自己的情緒問題日漸嚴重,可能需要尋找專業人仕 (社工/輔導員/心理治療) 協助,不要孤軍作戰。

資料來源:Chinese Family Services of Ontario 家和專業輔導中心